Trying to get my groove back

I started this new blog with a lot of promise and excitement. After all, I haven't blogged since November of 2006! I thought, my life got pretty exciting and hectic the whole time after that, so there's plenty of happy, sad, crazy experiences to draw from. Should be fun. But now, two full weeks later, I'm just in a rut.

I thought I should just pick up from where I left off and add to my already existing blog. But I revisited its previous posts, and I didn't recognize the girl who wrote them. Sure, I remember writing them, and I smiled as I reminisce what a high-strung, excitable little girl I was about things that probably made me lose sleep then but don't seem so petrifying now. A case in point: my previous blog's colors then were hot-pink and black. Not such appropriate colors now, I think, and I like the coffee-colored hues in this new one better. What the hey... did I just grow up?!

Well, come to think of it, I might have. I believe I stand up for myself more now, I take less shit from others. My self-penned Friendster profile confesses: 'I am nice. Too nice that I can't say no to people.' Well, sometimes saying no feels good. But don't worry, I am sure I have not become a bitch either hehe. I found out that you can take the high road and keep your self-esteem intact.

I'm back doing work that means more to me than just the bi-monthly paycheck. I've learned to "stop and smell the roses." I've recognized that while I am busy making plans for tomorrows that might not come, life happens, so I should just live it. In other words, I've departed so much from the girl who wrote from the heart two years ago and I'm at a loss on how to reconcile her from who I've become today. That's the epiphany. That's why I needed a new blog and that's why I'm still struggling with this pesky writer's block.

But I'm sure one thing hasn't changed. This girl still needs to run away once in a while, to find herself, to explore the deep recesses of her heart. Maybe now more than ever. This will be her favorite hiding place.